Are you a know it all?

“I knooow,” was my favorite phrase as a teenager.  Often times, the phrase had to be said with eyes rolled for emphasis.  Specifically, when a parent would remind me of something that I needed to listen to for my own benefit, those words came out of my mouth automatically. Now that my parents are gone and I’m older, I know that I don’t always know it all.

I learned many valuable lessons from my loving parents who spoke from the wisdom of experience.  One important lesson experience has taught me is that it makes sense to not only listen to advice given to me for my benefit, but to also respond on the information by acting on it. Let’s think about this: in the morning you get out of bed, look in the mirror and the wise response to that startling reflection is to make yourself presentable enough to go to school or work.  Or when your stomach growls the wise response would be to eat food. So why is it when we’re given access to wise and beneficial information and resources when facing a challenge in life we don’t respond wisely by acting on it?

Here are three ways to help us when we are hesitant about responding to a problem:

  1. Been there, done that. Talk to someone who has been in a similar situation and ask what they did. Listening to someonesmartwoman.jpg who has gone through the thing you face is invaluable–even if what they choose as a solution resulted in failure for him or her, ask them what they learned from that too.
  2. Do it NOW. Sometimes procrastination will cause us to talk ourselves out of the right way to go.
  3. Commit to your decision. Don’t waiver in what you choose to do.  If you have listened to your instinct and compared it to the information you have gotten from others, decide on your answer and stick with it!

Do you feel stranded on the opposite side of success and need help mapping out your next moves toward what you REALLY want in life?  You can so, let’s connect, click here to talk: http://legendarylifestyleacademy.com/complimentary-discovery-session/

Tis The Season – for annoyance!

The calendar says we are near the holiday season.   Retailers have begun displaying festive decorations and promoting sales for holiday gift giving.  But this can be the opposite of ‘the most wonderful time of the year,’ for many of us since we have to look forward to dealing with people who are negative and just rub us the wrong way. This group of people can be described at the ‘sandpaper people’ who are abrasive and rough in their treatment of you and others.

Most of us will experience these ‘rough’ people specifically throughout the season.  They can include our stressed-out sales manager who is freaking out about making end of year sales, or the overworked check out lady at the grocery store, your never-have- anything –positive- to -say Aunt or my favorite: the mall shoppers who like to re-create scenes from the popular car chase movie, The Fast and The Furious, in their mini-vans as they compete for parking spaces near the entrance.  Tis the season, right?

Here are a few tips making sure you stay sane despite the holiday craziness:

  1. Don’t take the negative as a personal images (4)attack—it’s usually not about you, but them! Stressed out and overworked people sometimes will lash out because they have not learned to manage their emotions and it builds up to become an explosion.  That’s their issue so don’t carry that responsibility as your own.

 

  1. Be realistic with your time. The holidays can bring added pressure to add more to your schedule like holiday gatherings, visits to family and friends, church activities etc.  To prevent yourself from burn out, learn to prioritize your time and avoid cramming too many places to be and things to do in your day.  Remember NO, is a complete sentence.  You don’t have to explain.

 

  1. Don’t over indulge in holiday food. I know it’s easier said than done when you are tempted with fresh baked cookies, pies and special holiday beverages served at every party.  But over eating can not only add extra pounds but cause us to feel sluggish and negative about our self-image – especially when New Year’s Eve arrives and you cannot put your size 12 leg into that size 8 pair of pants you planned to wear to dinner.

If you are struggling with overwhelming holiday emotions, let’s connect.  Email me direct kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com or click here: https://lnkd.in/ewUiZsr

 

Address The Mess

We’ve all done it–ignored a small issue until it became a major problem.  It could have been a relational, professional or financial mess and because ‘the mess wasn’t addressed’ at the onset it caused unnecessary stress. Here are three easy ways to ‘address the mess:’

1. Don’t sweep the problem under the rug and believe that you can ‘get to that later,’ if you see smoke now be prepared for the fire burning around the corner!

2. If you feel overwhelmed by the problem, get help.  Confide in a friend, colleague or if needed a professional who has experience with your particular situation.

stressed-woman-320x213.jpg3. Once you have the issue under control, look at what led to the problem to understand what lead up to the mess.  And be satisfied in knowing the experience was a powerful lesson in gaining wisdom in this area of your life or career.

Want free resources or specific support to help you transition through a life mess?  Private message me or email at kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com

Are Current World Events Stressing You Out?

How are the stressful, frightening events popping up on our social media feeds and replaying continuously in the television news affecting you? Are you having trouble sleeping? Do you feel anxious and fearful much of the time? Maybe you are feeling tempted by an addictive behavior that has been under control for a long time? If this sounds like you, you are not alone. People around the world are feeling the stress of these difficult times and it is showing itself in unexpected ways.

You may have had a lot of stress to deal with in your life even before events like Charlottesville. You may have already been coping with grief, illness, addictions or financial issues. You may have been just managing to get by –keeping yourself well and helping others as needed. And now this! You may feel totally overwhelmed. Again, you are not alone. Most people share your feelings.

Here are a few things we can do to manage the feelings of stress:

  • Connect with friends and talk it out.  Sometimes knowing that people who care about you are willing to just listen to your fears is therapeutic.
  • Get active.  Go for a walk with the dog or visit the local gym for a quick workout. Getting the healthy endorphins moving through your body does wonders for your state of mind.
  • Don’t reach for the junk food and stay glued to news networks.  Filling our body with empty calories and flooding our minds with stressful news images will cause our stress levels to increase.  Turn off the television and grab a book or call a family member.  Get plenty
  • Take the focus off your
  • images (4) feelings of stress by helping make a difference in the world. E-mail or call government officials to let them know how you feel about the actions they are taking. Join activist groups that share your views on world events. Assist an organization that is working on relief efforts. Help someone in your community who is having a hard time.

…feel like areas of your life are stressful or unmanageable? Let’s connect.  I’d like to share some resources with you to help you get you from where you are now, to where you’d like to be!

Click here http://legendarylifestyleacademy.com/complimentary-discovery-session/

Confident Woman

When I go shopping for new clothes, I engage in one of my regular dressing room customs. I fold over my arm as many items as I physically can carry around the store and/or the maximum number of items allowed per the store dressing room policy just so I don’t have to hobble out in a too tight dress to ask for a new size. I typically find fault with every item because they, ‘don’t look anything like they do on the mannequins on me in this horrible three way mirror!’ Although, I would say I’m a confident woman, I admit I’m also somewhat preoccupied with minor, and often imaginary, flaws in physical features. I’ve had the ‘I would like to get the pudgy part under my chin,’ talk with my husband many times and he insists I will ruin an already beautiful face in his opinion.

So plenty of us have the same self-doubts, whether regarding our physical appearance, our abilities at work, our success as a wife or mother etc. even though these doubts may be completely false, for some reason the bad stuff is easier to believe.

But a University of California neuropsychiatrist believes there is a part of a woman’s brain that causes this kind of self-critical thinking. “It turns out there’s an area of your brain that’s assigned the task of negative thinking,” says Louann Brizendine, MD, author of The Female Brain. “It’s judgmental. It says ‘I’m too fat’ or ‘I’m too old. The worrywart part of the brain is the anterior cingulate cortex.

downloadIn women, this part of the brain is actually larger and more influential, as is the brain circuitry for observing emotions in others. “The reason we think females have more emotional sensitivity,” says Brizendine, “is that we’ve been built to be immediately responsive to the needs of a nonverbal infant. That can be both a good thing and a bad thing.”

These findings confirm the realness of the struggles we ladies deal with when it comes to confidence.
If you are interested in gettingmore information to build more confidence in all areas of your life, click http://eepurl.com/cWRJWn to recieve helpful resources and free gifts!

Thinking about quitting? Remember why you started.

We all feel this way from time to time.  That feeling of being stuck, that feeling of doubt, that feeling of what am I really doing?!

Sure we can pump ourselves up with motivational sayings like “quitters never win” and “failure is not an option,” but really? When we’re overwhelmed by serious demands and out of time, money, and energy that happy self talk doesn’t always cut it.

Here are three easy ways to get back in the game:Winning

  1. Stop doubting yourself – if you were not capable of reaching the thing you’re going after you would have never had the idea to go after it in the first place.
  2. Try a different route – you know how the GPS in your car will re-calculate when you  take a wrong turn?  We can do the same thing by re-calculating our plan.  There are several ways to get to the same place, right?
  3. Don’t be an island- you don’t have to do it alone.  Invest in that goal by getting a mentor or business or personal development coach, someone who doesn’t know you, but knows your situation and feels your pain AND can guide you to practical solutions. Find someone who can accelerate you toward what you want.

If you are interested in knowing more about this topic, contact me at kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com

Uncovering the lessons following a life transition

Your heart drops, you feel a little faint and the world seems to pause for a moment as you try to catch your breath.
A life crisis has just shaken your life.womenunderstree_7.20.17
Death, divorce, unemployment, a negative medical diagnosis are some of the life experiences that change your life in an instant. The change can leave you feeling overwhelmed and confused.
A former client explained her transformative life moment. “One evening as I was leaving the office to go home, I got the call that my mother had just passed away after a long illness,” She tearfully recalled, “I wondered, what will Dad do? How will he make it? What about the rest of the family?” She went on to explain a similar feeling of overwhelm just nine months later when I got an early morning call from her sister saying that her Dad had passed earlier that morning.
After a major crisis erupts in life many emotions may spontaneously show up such as confusion, loneliness, sadness and even anger ~ it’s okay to just feel what you feel (however, if thoughts of harming yourself or others occur, please do seek immediate medical attention).
During this time you may want to take time away from any activities that call for complicated decision making or critical detailed thinking since this may or may not be possible.

 

Note of Encouragement: Your journey towards recovering from a life crisis is made up of many small steps put together. All you have to do is decide to start with that first step. Just decide and do it!

 

Let ‘If Only’ Go…
After an unexpected life change you may have thoughts of guilt, regret or anger. It’s natural to think, ‘if only’ or maybe there was ‘something I could have done differently or done more of’ to result in a different outcome.
Control Negative Self Talk
The reality of your life now is different then it was prior to the major life event. During this transformative time, negative self-talk could become your norm, but doesn’t benefit your progress toward moving forward. Because you have struggled doesn’t mean you have failed even though a negative voice inside might try to tell you otherwise. Be conscious of your self talk.

 

Note of encouragement: Let your future, prove your past wrong. Don’t spend time wondering ‘what if,’ as you journey forward think of what can be.

 

Your Next Steps
So what is your next move? There is no simple or easy answer on how you actually take your first steps out of the initial shock of a major unexpected life transition. You can only begin where you are ~ that could mean small steps.
A small effort like getting out of bed no matter how much you want to stay under the covers could be a small step. But if this is your current reality, get up and be proud of yourself!
Being around supportive friends and family who will not be critical or push you to go beyond what is comfortable for you is important to getting through this transitional phase of life. Staying active can keep help you avoid negative thoughts or extended periods of self-pity. Also when we accept a new situation, we make a huge step forward. Sometimes the biggest stress comes when we try to fight the change and try to stay where were are or in the past.  This is especially difficult when you have no choice but to accept your new situation.
Have you found yourself in the middle of a life transition? Are you seeking support and/or information on successfully getting from where you are now in to where you eventually want to be?

If this sounds like you, email me at kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com also visit me at www.legendarylifestyleacademy.com

 

The Fear Factor

The Commander sternly said to the beaten and battered war prisoner, “I will give you two choices. One is to face the firing squad or two, you can walk out that door where there are unknown terrible fates that likely await you.’ The prisoner, weary from all he had been through said, “I will face the firing squad.” After the prisoner’s body was carried out, the Commander’s guard asked, “Sir what is outside that door?” The Commander replied matter of factly, “Freedom.”

Is fear of the unknown holding you back from the ‘freedom’ you desire?

Fear can be an overwhelming obstacle preventing us from living the life we want. It can cause us to be unclear and distorted in what is truly possible for us.  And most often times it is an unrealistic fear that keeps us from growing as a person resulting in us undervaluing our worthiness for success and serve doubt in our god-given abilities and talents.

Here are the top three ways, I’ve found to help clear the fear:

Put it all in perspective: Life really will go on if you go after the promotion and don’t get it! Look at the big picture and realistically look at our experiences. Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? Usually it is not as bad as you feared it to be.
Learn to trust yourself: nobody knows you better than YOU!
Stop sabotaging behavior like negative self talk
…remember you are capable and all that is possible for you is just one faith-filled step away!

Show More Love

In the wake of the horrific events of Orlando, many conversations in the grocery store line, the break room and social media include questions like, ‘What if that were my family?’ ‘What would I do in a situation like that?”

Unfortunately, we are living in frightening world that is lacking love and kindness.

However, many are also asking the question, ‘How can I share more love in my world?’

Here are 5 easy ways to be kind in a harsh world:Hugs

  1. Smile.  Even at someone we don’t know.  Sometimes a simple smile can make someone’s day.
  2. Write a handwritten letter on stationary to a relative or friend you’ve lost touch with and send it in the mail.
  3. Spend time with a child.  Not only will this make the little one happy, but it’ll do your heart good too to laugh over a heated game of Old Maid, UNO or Candy Land!
  4. Buy the coffee for the person behind you at the coffee shop.
  5. Check in on an elderly neighbor and ask if you can help with a task around the yard or their home.

Don’t forget to be kind to your family and yourself.  Sure, go ahead and buy that new lipstick and dance around your bathroom to Justin Bieber…we won’t judge as long as it makes you happy!

Remember…you are capable and all that is possible for you is one faith-filled step away.

Change

transition…well, they are called  growing pains for a reason.  Yes, change and growth sometimes     hurt and it’s  why we are so resistant to it.  But the ironic thing about change is we fear it just as much as we desire it ( for example take note of the ‘changes’  we desire on January 1st every year)!

However, change is inevitable and if we fight against it,  we can sabotage any chance to achieve success and abundance in life.  Sound a little dramatic?  Well, change certainly can be dramatic and is a significant part of life.   Regardless of if we are a willing participant or not, change is gonna come!

Here are 3 ways to help embrace change:

  1. Acknowledge the  fear and challenge it. If  we admit we are  fearful, it’s  not so bad because we  know it’s there.   We can even use it that fearful energy flowing through us to challenge ourselves to  stretch even further. If you find yourself a fearful divorced woman at  age 50,  now  could be the best time to  sell the house and buy that loft in the city you dreamed of living in ‘one day.’
  2. Be open to possibility.  Don’t get attached to any certain outcome as a result of  change.  Often times the most memorable events in life are the ones we didn’t expect or plan.
  3. Take it easy on yourself.  Sometimes when massive change in life occurs ( such as the loss of a job, relationship or spouse), we can feel as if life is sweeping us up in a whirlwind.  To help absorb the ‘shock’ it is a good idea to take it easy on you.  Get plenty of rest, eat good meals and if cash allows, have someone clean your apartment or home so you can spend  time to regroup.

Change has it’s  benefits especially when you discover new insight on yourself and your perspective on the world around you.