Uncovering the lessons following a life transition

Your heart drops, you feel a little faint and the world seems to pause for a moment as you try to catch your breath.
A life crisis has just shaken your life.womenunderstree_7.20.17
Death, divorce, unemployment, a negative medical diagnosis are some of the life experiences that change your life in an instant. The change can leave you feeling overwhelmed and confused.
A former client explained her transformative life moment. “One evening as I was leaving the office to go home, I got the call that my mother had just passed away after a long illness,” She tearfully recalled, “I wondered, what will Dad do? How will he make it? What about the rest of the family?” She went on to explain a similar feeling of overwhelm just nine months later when I got an early morning call from her sister saying that her Dad had passed earlier that morning.
After a major crisis erupts in life many emotions may spontaneously show up such as confusion, loneliness, sadness and even anger ~ it’s okay to just feel what you feel (however, if thoughts of harming yourself or others occur, please do seek immediate medical attention).
During this time you may want to take time away from any activities that call for complicated decision making or critical detailed thinking since this may or may not be possible.

 

Note of Encouragement: Your journey towards recovering from a life crisis is made up of many small steps put together. All you have to do is decide to start with that first step. Just decide and do it!

 

Let ‘If Only’ Go…
After an unexpected life change you may have thoughts of guilt, regret or anger. It’s natural to think, ‘if only’ or maybe there was ‘something I could have done differently or done more of’ to result in a different outcome.
Control Negative Self Talk
The reality of your life now is different then it was prior to the major life event. During this transformative time, negative self-talk could become your norm, but doesn’t benefit your progress toward moving forward. Because you have struggled doesn’t mean you have failed even though a negative voice inside might try to tell you otherwise. Be conscious of your self talk.

 

Note of encouragement: Let your future, prove your past wrong. Don’t spend time wondering ‘what if,’ as you journey forward think of what can be.

 

Your Next Steps
So what is your next move? There is no simple or easy answer on how you actually take your first steps out of the initial shock of a major unexpected life transition. You can only begin where you are ~ that could mean small steps.
A small effort like getting out of bed no matter how much you want to stay under the covers could be a small step. But if this is your current reality, get up and be proud of yourself!
Being around supportive friends and family who will not be critical or push you to go beyond what is comfortable for you is important to getting through this transitional phase of life. Staying active can keep help you avoid negative thoughts or extended periods of self-pity. Also when we accept a new situation, we make a huge step forward. Sometimes the biggest stress comes when we try to fight the change and try to stay where were are or in the past.  This is especially difficult when you have no choice but to accept your new situation.
Have you found yourself in the middle of a life transition? Are you seeking support and/or information on successfully getting from where you are now in to where you eventually want to be?

If this sounds like you, email me at kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com also visit me at www.legendarylifestyleacademy.com

 

The Fear Factor

The Commander sternly said to the beaten and battered war prisoner, “I will give you two choices. One is to face the firing squad or two, you can walk out that door where there are unknown terrible fates that likely await you.’ The prisoner, weary from all he had been through said, “I will face the firing squad.” After the prisoner’s body was carried out, the Commander’s guard asked, “Sir what is outside that door?” The Commander replied matter of factly, “Freedom.”

Is fear of the unknown holding you back from the ‘freedom’ you desire?

Fear can be an overwhelming obstacle preventing us from living the life we want. It can cause us to be unclear and distorted in what is truly possible for us.  And most often times it is an unrealistic fear that keeps us from growing as a person resulting in us undervaluing our worthiness for success and serve doubt in our god-given abilities and talents.

Here are the top three ways, I’ve found to help clear the fear:

Put it all in perspective: Life really will go on if you go after the promotion and don’t get it! Look at the big picture and realistically look at our experiences. Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? Usually it is not as bad as you feared it to be.
Learn to trust yourself: nobody knows you better than YOU!
Stop sabotaging behavior like negative self talk
…remember you are capable and all that is possible for you is just one faith-filled step away!

Show More Love

In the wake of the horrific events of Orlando, many conversations in the grocery store line, the break room and social media include questions like, ‘What if that were my family?’ ‘What would I do in a situation like that?”

Unfortunately, we are living in frightening world that is lacking love and kindness.

However, many are also asking the question, ‘How can I share more love in my world?’

Here are 5 easy ways to be kind in a harsh world:Hugs

  1. Smile.  Even at someone we don’t know.  Sometimes a simple smile can make someone’s day.
  2. Write a handwritten letter on stationary to a relative or friend you’ve lost touch with and send it in the mail.
  3. Spend time with a child.  Not only will this make the little one happy, but it’ll do your heart good too to laugh over a heated game of Old Maid, UNO or Candy Land!
  4. Buy the coffee for the person behind you at the coffee shop.
  5. Check in on an elderly neighbor and ask if you can help with a task around the yard or their home.

Don’t forget to be kind to your family and yourself.  Sure, go ahead and buy that new lipstick and dance around your bathroom to Justin Bieber…we won’t judge as long as it makes you happy!

Remember…you are capable and all that is possible for you is one faith-filled step away.

Change

transition…well, they are called  growing pains for a reason.  Yes, change and growth sometimes     hurt and it’s  why we are so resistant to it.  But the ironic thing about change is we fear it just as much as we desire it ( for example take note of the ‘changes’  we desire on January 1st every year)!

However, change is inevitable and if we fight against it,  we can sabotage any chance to achieve success and abundance in life.  Sound a little dramatic?  Well, change certainly can be dramatic and is a significant part of life.   Regardless of if we are a willing participant or not, change is gonna come!

Here are 3 ways to help embrace change:

  1. Acknowledge the  fear and challenge it. If  we admit we are  fearful, it’s  not so bad because we  know it’s there.   We can even use it that fearful energy flowing through us to challenge ourselves to  stretch even further. If you find yourself a fearful divorced woman at  age 50,  now  could be the best time to  sell the house and buy that loft in the city you dreamed of living in ‘one day.’
  2. Be open to possibility.  Don’t get attached to any certain outcome as a result of  change.  Often times the most memorable events in life are the ones we didn’t expect or plan.
  3. Take it easy on yourself.  Sometimes when massive change in life occurs ( such as the loss of a job, relationship or spouse), we can feel as if life is sweeping us up in a whirlwind.  To help absorb the ‘shock’ it is a good idea to take it easy on you.  Get plenty of rest, eat good meals and if cash allows, have someone clean your apartment or home so you can spend  time to regroup.

Change has it’s  benefits especially when you discover new insight on yourself and your perspective on the world around you.

Well, that just happened…

Your coffee spills down the front of your favorite sweater on the drive to meet your client.  As you approach the exit, you realize that stain will never come out AND you’ve gone the wrong way! You fumble around in your bag for your cellphone to apologize to your waiting client when it starts to ring.  It’s your sister who desperately needs you to watch her twins this evening.  Frazzled, you agree and press END CALL, only to see you’ve made another wrong turn.  Uggg!  Although, you left early for the appointment, you are nearly 20 minutes late. You notice a text arrived from your client saying she could no longer wait and would prefer to do business elsewhere. Ouch. Your heart sinks. Have you had one of those days when nothing seems to go right on top of ruining a perfectly cute sweater?!

Sometimes these setbacks can be a major confidence-killer. However, wasting time beating yourself up by replaying the drama in your mind is not productive. By doing so you create a false view of who you really are and your true ability.

Here are three quick ‘pick-me-uppers’ to move on successfully with your day:

  1. Take a deep breath and  accept what just happened.  Doctors have proven that deep breathing releases tension and  clears the mind.  Yes, those folks who practice Yoga ARE really on to something!
  2. Laugh. Even though you want to cry, feel sorry for yourself or throw something. Laughing, will immediately start to change your attitude.
  3. Do something positive for someone else. Okay, so after stumbling over a few issues it may seem difficult, but taking a moment or two to positively focus on someone works…give a sincere compliment to the bank teller with a great haircut…give the broke college student in front of you at the coffee shop the 50 cents he is short to purchase his mocha…hold open the door at the library for the mom struggling to push in her double-wide stroller.

It just takes a little effort to sweep up the big mess of a setback.Bummed

…so, here you are

…we ARE where we are in life because of past choices made. Regardless of the most challenging circumstances, we DO have the power to choose. Regarding your success, make today ‘sink or swim’ day. Either you’re going to learn to be an awesome swimmer or you’ll swallow half the pool of life trying! You CAN do this!images06MEIG0P

The Importance of Being Mentored

Growing up, many of us had someone we looked up to and wanted to emulate.  Maybe it was an older brother or sister, a television character or super hero.  Do you remember the fun you had sneaking into your older sibling’s room to try on their clothes to be ‘cool’ like them, or maybe you loved putting on a mask and cape for Halloween (or any random after-school day) to transform into a super human with unlimited power.  business women

Now that we are adults, we still can tap into and further develop our unlimited power through the experience and mentorship of others.

Internationally recognized and mega successful entrepreneur, Richard Branson of Virgin said in a recent blog, “If you ask any successful businessperson, they will always have had a great mentor at some point along the road. If you want success then it takes hard work, hard work and more hard work. But it also takes a little help along the way. If you are determined and enthusiastic then people will support you.”

…sounds like good advice from someone worth 5 billion dollars according to Forbes Magazine!

Here are three easy ways to find a mentor for those of you on the way to Forbes status:

  1. Identify someone in your field of interest who is actively making a positive impact in that field.  Find out if he or she will be a speaker or attendee at an industry conference and make sure you get there and introduce yourself.
  2. Look around your office at those who are consistently reaching department goals or are being promoted to greater responsibilities.  Often times, these are great people to invite to lunch and inquire about their strategies for succeeding in the company.
  3. Hire a coach or professional mentor.  By investing in your success through reserving time with a coach or professional mentor, you can eliminate years of trial and error by using his or her knowledge and resources.  This is a secret formula for continued success for many top athletes and entertainers as well as entrepreneurs.

As you develop your plan for success, include a mentor to make the journey easier.

That’s Just a waste of time…

What would happen if we turned off Netflix, the tablet and our smartphone for two hours a day?  Okay, besides have electronics ‘separation anxiety’ what would be the real result?  TIME!!

Throughout the day, we spend a lot of time on activity that we don’t realize rob us of the ability to reach the success we want to obtain. Whether the goal is to have a better marriage, improved job skill, or to just get the bedroom closet organized, you have to reserve time to complete these tasks.

The average American spends FIVE hours just watching television daily.  I don’t know about you, but 10 minutes of viewing the Real Housewives of ANY city is 10 minutes of my life I would certainly want back.

What I’ve learned from many of my successful mentors is that success does not happen by accident.  All successful people have common habits when it comes to his or her use of time.

Here is a sneak peek at a few of those habits:

  1. Create your TO DO LIST before going to bed: high achievers plan out their day.  This helps to avoid spending too much time on activities that are not productive.
  2. Get Physical: good health generates energy to get through the sometimes stressful day.  Most successful people dedicate sometime in the morning to physical activity.
  3. Goal Setting and Visualization: If you can see it, then you can be it! Most successful people have very specific goals and action plans for reaching those goals.  By knowing exactly what you want and how you will do it,  makes it easy to visualize your end result.

Of course, there is nothing wrong about setting time aside to enjoy life, but we should view time as a precious commodity that we cannot retrieve once wasted.

Four colourful alarm clocks isolated on white background 3D

 

Yes, it’s okay to say NO!

We live in a fast paced world where many of us don’t stop until it’s time for bed.  However, why is it difficult to say ‘no’ when we understand that it will add more to do items on our already crazy agenda?  Do you feel guilt or even obligation to do something you don’t want or have the time to do?

Here are a few reasons to stop saying yes, when you mean NO!!

  • You can’t please everyone:  You heard the old expression. Even if you do say yes to someone else’s request it doesn’t guarantee their satisfaction.  It could backfire if you agree to a task and you can’t actually follow through with it.  This is very stressful on you and the person who expected your assistance.  This can be avoided completely by saying no up front.
  • You have the power : Only you know what your daily priorities are and only YOU can CONTROL how you prioritize your day.  If you let other’s requests dictate your day, it1412864081221_wps_14_Woman_reading_text_messag will lead to chaos! You’ll resent them for not being able to get anything done.
  • You don’t owe them one:  Sometimes you will be expected to ‘return a favor’ extended to you by someone else.  Here is how to look at it.  You don’t owe anyone anything!  If someone does a kind thing for you, it should be understood that the act was extended as a gracious gesture and not something to hold you under obligation for later.

You are the C.E.O of your life, manage it well.

If you enjoyed this, send me an email at kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com  to receive free newsletters and other resources to help you create a lifestyle that you control and love!