Life Take An Unexpected Turn? 5 Ways To Bounce Back!

Are you at a place in life that you didn’t think you’d be?  Maybe you were happily married for years and suddenly find yourself single.  Maybe you worked for the same company for a long time and recently discovered your position is being eliminated?  Or possibly you have always been healthy, but shockingly diagnosed with a life-altering illness.

Life can pull the rug from under our goals, dreams and expectations in the blink of an eye.  Change unexpectedly can be scary; it may feel like we have no control and cause frustration, anger or depression.

However, here are five ways to cope:

  1. Accept the change that is happening.  The sooner we acknowledge that life has changed, the sooner we can begin to adjust.
  2. Decide your next move.  So this happened what can I do next and what will be my attitude toward moving forward?  These are very critical questions to ask yourself.
  3. Let go of ‘if only I had done things differently’ thinking. It is not productive to get stuck in this self- destructive thinking.
  4. Find support through your friends, relatives and/or spiritual family.
  5. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to transition into a new way of life.

 

 

Waiting for perfection…and waiting and waiting and waiting…

What is it about our society that causes many of us to strive for perfection?  In magazines, we see models with perfect bodies…on television we see perfect families living in perfect homes…on social media we see cute couples posing in selfies to document perfect relationships.  But what we don’t see is the air bushing of the model’s thighs for the magazine ad, the behind the scenes arguments within that perfect family and the problems that cutesy couple on Facebook really experience.

Are you letting the need for perfectionism actually PREVENT you from success?  How could that be you ask?

Ironically, people who lean toward perfectionism sabotageimages his or  her chance for success.   For example, most tend to  be procrastinators; waiting for the right circumstances to best increase his or her chances for accomplishing some task successfully.  Here’s where that irony comes in again…that ideal or  perfect time or space may NEVER occur so he or she automatically fails!  One of the key traits of successful people is not being risk-adverse.

Here are a few trait perfectionists often posses and how they can be adjusted for better results:

  • Highly critical of others: a perfectionist point out the flaws in others largely because they can’t accept in others what they can’t accept in themselves.  However, if a less judgmental attitude where taken by a perfectionist, it would be easier to be less critical of his or herself.
  • Takes everything personally: a  perfectionist takes failure personally; they tend to not be as resilient to a setback and can allow it to beat them down mentally.
  • Tends to get upset about insignificant mistakes: if spilling a latte at the coffee shop causes an emotional meltdown or seeing a typo in an email after hitting send puts you in crises mode, you just might be a perfectionist. If less focus is placed on failure and more focus is placed on the big picture or the end result, the small mistakes won’t seem so big.

So what are you waiting for? Now is the PERFECT time to succeed even if there are some failures along the way.

 

 

 

 

Change

transition…well, they are called  growing pains for a reason.  Yes, change and growth sometimes     hurt and it’s  why we are so resistant to it.  But the ironic thing about change is we fear it just as much as we desire it ( for example take note of the ‘changes’  we desire on January 1st every year)!

However, change is inevitable and if we fight against it,  we can sabotage any chance to achieve success and abundance in life.  Sound a little dramatic?  Well, change certainly can be dramatic and is a significant part of life.   Regardless of if we are a willing participant or not, change is gonna come!

Here are 3 ways to help embrace change:

  1. Acknowledge the  fear and challenge it. If  we admit we are  fearful, it’s  not so bad because we  know it’s there.   We can even use it that fearful energy flowing through us to challenge ourselves to  stretch even further. If you find yourself a fearful divorced woman at  age 50,  now  could be the best time to  sell the house and buy that loft in the city you dreamed of living in ‘one day.’
  2. Be open to possibility.  Don’t get attached to any certain outcome as a result of  change.  Often times the most memorable events in life are the ones we didn’t expect or plan.
  3. Take it easy on yourself.  Sometimes when massive change in life occurs ( such as the loss of a job, relationship or spouse), we can feel as if life is sweeping us up in a whirlwind.  To help absorb the ‘shock’ it is a good idea to take it easy on you.  Get plenty of rest, eat good meals and if cash allows, have someone clean your apartment or home so you can spend  time to regroup.

Change has it’s  benefits especially when you discover new insight on yourself and your perspective on the world around you.

Well, that just happened…

Your coffee spills down the front of your favorite sweater on the drive to meet your client.  As you approach the exit, you realize that stain will never come out AND you’ve gone the wrong way! You fumble around in your bag for your cellphone to apologize to your waiting client when it starts to ring.  It’s your sister who desperately needs you to watch her twins this evening.  Frazzled, you agree and press END CALL, only to see you’ve made another wrong turn.  Uggg!  Although, you left early for the appointment, you are nearly 20 minutes late. You notice a text arrived from your client saying she could no longer wait and would prefer to do business elsewhere. Ouch. Your heart sinks. Have you had one of those days when nothing seems to go right on top of ruining a perfectly cute sweater?!

Sometimes these setbacks can be a major confidence-killer. However, wasting time beating yourself up by replaying the drama in your mind is not productive. By doing so you create a false view of who you really are and your true ability.

Here are three quick ‘pick-me-uppers’ to move on successfully with your day:

  1. Take a deep breath and  accept what just happened.  Doctors have proven that deep breathing releases tension and  clears the mind.  Yes, those folks who practice Yoga ARE really on to something!
  2. Laugh. Even though you want to cry, feel sorry for yourself or throw something. Laughing, will immediately start to change your attitude.
  3. Do something positive for someone else. Okay, so after stumbling over a few issues it may seem difficult, but taking a moment or two to positively focus on someone works…give a sincere compliment to the bank teller with a great haircut…give the broke college student in front of you at the coffee shop the 50 cents he is short to purchase his mocha…hold open the door at the library for the mom struggling to push in her double-wide stroller.

It just takes a little effort to sweep up the big mess of a setback.Bummed

…so, here you are

…we ARE where we are in life because of past choices made. Regardless of the most challenging circumstances, we DO have the power to choose. Regarding your success, make today ‘sink or swim’ day. Either you’re going to learn to be an awesome swimmer or you’ll swallow half the pool of life trying! You CAN do this!images06MEIG0P

The Importance of Being Mentored

Growing up, many of us had someone we looked up to and wanted to emulate.  Maybe it was an older brother or sister, a television character or super hero.  Do you remember the fun you had sneaking into your older sibling’s room to try on their clothes to be ‘cool’ like them, or maybe you loved putting on a mask and cape for Halloween (or any random after-school day) to transform into a super human with unlimited power.  business women

Now that we are adults, we still can tap into and further develop our unlimited power through the experience and mentorship of others.

Internationally recognized and mega successful entrepreneur, Richard Branson of Virgin said in a recent blog, “If you ask any successful businessperson, they will always have had a great mentor at some point along the road. If you want success then it takes hard work, hard work and more hard work. But it also takes a little help along the way. If you are determined and enthusiastic then people will support you.”

…sounds like good advice from someone worth 5 billion dollars according to Forbes Magazine!

Here are three easy ways to find a mentor for those of you on the way to Forbes status:

  1. Identify someone in your field of interest who is actively making a positive impact in that field.  Find out if he or she will be a speaker or attendee at an industry conference and make sure you get there and introduce yourself.
  2. Look around your office at those who are consistently reaching department goals or are being promoted to greater responsibilities.  Often times, these are great people to invite to lunch and inquire about their strategies for succeeding in the company.
  3. Hire a coach or professional mentor.  By investing in your success through reserving time with a coach or professional mentor, you can eliminate years of trial and error by using his or her knowledge and resources.  This is a secret formula for continued success for many top athletes and entertainers as well as entrepreneurs.

As you develop your plan for success, include a mentor to make the journey easier.

That’s Just a waste of time…

What would happen if we turned off Netflix, the tablet and our smartphone for two hours a day?  Okay, besides have electronics ‘separation anxiety’ what would be the real result?  TIME!!

Throughout the day, we spend a lot of time on activity that we don’t realize rob us of the ability to reach the success we want to obtain. Whether the goal is to have a better marriage, improved job skill, or to just get the bedroom closet organized, you have to reserve time to complete these tasks.

The average American spends FIVE hours just watching television daily.  I don’t know about you, but 10 minutes of viewing the Real Housewives of ANY city is 10 minutes of my life I would certainly want back.

What I’ve learned from many of my successful mentors is that success does not happen by accident.  All successful people have common habits when it comes to his or her use of time.

Here is a sneak peek at a few of those habits:

  1. Create your TO DO LIST before going to bed: high achievers plan out their day.  This helps to avoid spending too much time on activities that are not productive.
  2. Get Physical: good health generates energy to get through the sometimes stressful day.  Most successful people dedicate sometime in the morning to physical activity.
  3. Goal Setting and Visualization: If you can see it, then you can be it! Most successful people have very specific goals and action plans for reaching those goals.  By knowing exactly what you want and how you will do it,  makes it easy to visualize your end result.

Of course, there is nothing wrong about setting time aside to enjoy life, but we should view time as a precious commodity that we cannot retrieve once wasted.

Four colourful alarm clocks isolated on white background 3D

 

Yes, it’s okay to say NO!

We live in a fast paced world where many of us don’t stop until it’s time for bed.  However, why is it difficult to say ‘no’ when we understand that it will add more to do items on our already crazy agenda?  Do you feel guilt or even obligation to do something you don’t want or have the time to do?

Here are a few reasons to stop saying yes, when you mean NO!!

  • You can’t please everyone:  You heard the old expression. Even if you do say yes to someone else’s request it doesn’t guarantee their satisfaction.  It could backfire if you agree to a task and you can’t actually follow through with it.  This is very stressful on you and the person who expected your assistance.  This can be avoided completely by saying no up front.
  • You have the power : Only you know what your daily priorities are and only YOU can CONTROL how you prioritize your day.  If you let other’s requests dictate your day, it1412864081221_wps_14_Woman_reading_text_messag will lead to chaos! You’ll resent them for not being able to get anything done.
  • You don’t owe them one:  Sometimes you will be expected to ‘return a favor’ extended to you by someone else.  Here is how to look at it.  You don’t owe anyone anything!  If someone does a kind thing for you, it should be understood that the act was extended as a gracious gesture and not something to hold you under obligation for later.

You are the C.E.O of your life, manage it well.

If you enjoyed this, send me an email at kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com  to receive free newsletters and other resources to help you create a lifestyle that you control and love!

Stop Comparing Your Life To Others!

You are scrolling through Facebook.  You stop mid scroll to look closer and see that girl who graduated with you on a wonderful Parisian vacation with a handsome man.  As you click on picture after picture of them laughing, eating and having a good time, you feel worse about your life.  Then you click on Instagram and see that friendly lady you chat with each morning at the coffee shop about work, dating and life etc.,  just posted fabulous photos of her tropical honeymoon.The last time you spoke, she had not been on a date in months and she’s married!

We’ve all done it.  We compare ourselves to others and it makes us feel inadequate about our life.  Social Media, television, magazines and the movies  all have images of those we are told we should be ‘keeping up with…’

While we’re saying to ourselves, it’s not fair, let’s look at the reality of the situation.

Television, movies and magazines have editors!  You are not truly not seeing what you are seeing!  The same rings true for social media.  While the folks may photograph themselves having a great time, you’re only seeing the ‘high points’ of their lives.  You rarely see a candid shot of your friend having a big argument with her handsome new husband or your neighbor who is a terrific cook burning the Hawaiian Chicken on the grill or your perfect co-worker’s child having a full-blown melt down at the grocery store.  You get the picture (no pun intended).

But don’t feel bad, for feeling bad.  It’s natural that we want to see where we fit in the scheme of things.  Our mind needs to rank or successes or failures in comparison to others.  But here are a few ways to refocus on a more healthy way to process thoughts of comparison.comparison

  1. Compare your current SELF against the past SELF:  look at how far you have come in your own life.  Have you released a significant amount of weight to become healthier?  Have you completed a degree? Have you become a better spouse over the years?  There are MANY ways to compare YOURSELF now and in the past and feel good about what you’ve accomplished.
  2. Realize How IMPOSSIBLE it is to truly compare: there is only one you so how can you compare?  We all have our own unique experiences and journeys through life so there really is not way to measure that with someone else’s life experiences.
  3. Pursue greater and higher things in life:  some of the most awesome things in life are love, compassion, humility, generosity etc. things that are often ‘hidden’ from the visual…you can’t take a selfie with wisdom, but you sure can gain more of it and benefit from it more than posting a picture of your vegan burger at a new cafe.

Sure, there is nothing wrong with browsing social media to keep up on events in  the lives of your friends and family, but remind yourself that nobody is perfect!

If you enjoyed this, send me an email at kishia@legendarylifestyleacademy.com  to receive free newsletters and other resources to help you create a lifestyle that you control and love!