The Fear Factor

The Commander sternly said to the beaten and battered war prisoner, “I will give you two choices. One is to face the firing squad or two, you can walk out that door where there are unknown terrible fates that likely await you.’ The prisoner, weary from all he had been through said, “I will face the firing squad.” After the prisoner’s body was carried out, the Commander’s guard asked, “Sir what is outside that door?” The Commander replied matter of factly, “Freedom.”

Is fear of the unknown holding you back from the ‘freedom’ you desire?

Fear can be an overwhelming obstacle preventing us from living the life we want. It can cause us to be unclear and distorted in what is truly possible for us.  And most often times it is an unrealistic fear that keeps us from growing as a person resulting in us undervaluing our worthiness for success and serve doubt in our god-given abilities and talents.

Here are the top three ways, I’ve found to help clear the fear:

Put it all in perspective: Life really will go on if you go after the promotion and don’t get it! Look at the big picture and realistically look at our experiences. Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? Usually it is not as bad as you feared it to be.
Learn to trust yourself: nobody knows you better than YOU!
Stop sabotaging behavior like negative self talk
…remember you are capable and all that is possible for you is just one faith-filled step away!

Show More Love

In the wake of the horrific events of Orlando, many conversations in the grocery store line, the break room and social media include questions like, ‘What if that were my family?’ ‘What would I do in a situation like that?”

Unfortunately, we are living in frightening world that is lacking love and kindness.

However, many are also asking the question, ‘How can I share more love in my world?’

Here are 5 easy ways to be kind in a harsh world:Hugs

  1. Smile.  Even at someone we don’t know.  Sometimes a simple smile can make someone’s day.
  2. Write a handwritten letter on stationary to a relative or friend you’ve lost touch with and send it in the mail.
  3. Spend time with a child.  Not only will this make the little one happy, but it’ll do your heart good too to laugh over a heated game of Old Maid, UNO or Candy Land!
  4. Buy the coffee for the person behind you at the coffee shop.
  5. Check in on an elderly neighbor and ask if you can help with a task around the yard or their home.

Don’t forget to be kind to your family and yourself.  Sure, go ahead and buy that new lipstick and dance around your bathroom to Justin Bieber…we won’t judge as long as it makes you happy!

Remember…you are capable and all that is possible for you is one faith-filled step away.

Where are you?

 

…so, we’re almost at the half-way point in 2016 and I know where did the time go?!

Many of us started the new year eager to make changes in our life.  Perhaps your big change was to release weight with a new diet and fitness regime, maybe it was to get out of debt or start a business.  Are you on track?  Have you fallen short? Or possibly you have jumped in with both feet and taken off with your goals and are rocking out your plans as you had hoped – if so, here’s a fist bump to you girlfriend!

But, if you’ve run out of steam on the way to your dream it’s never too late to begin again.

Here are three quick tips to not jump ship when it comes to your plans:

  1. Don’t compare yourself to others.  Some of your friends may have be having a great 2016. But don’t let yourself get sidetracked by others success, let it be a motivator.  Do what you can do.

  2. Be consistent. Consistently make it a habit to do one thing daily, whether it be large or small, to draw you closer to your goals.  It could be as simple as skipping the bowl of ice cream and walking around the block after dinner or instead of watching television before bed read a chapter from the book about starting your own business that has sat on your night stand for months.

3. Get an accountability partner.  Yes, you have to tell somebody you trust about what you want to accomplish and encourage them to hold you accountable for it.  It could be a friend, your spouse, a group of like-minded legendary ladies (wink*)…just be ready to share and maybe even take some constructive criticism to help you succeed.

…you are capable and all that is possible for you is just one faith-filled step away.

Life Take An Unexpected Turn? 5 Ways To Bounce Back!

Are you at a place in life that you didn’t think you’d be?  Maybe you were happily married for years and suddenly find yourself single.  Maybe you worked for the same company for a long time and recently discovered your position is being eliminated?  Or possibly you have always been healthy, but shockingly diagnosed with a life-altering illness.

Life can pull the rug from under our goals, dreams and expectations in the blink of an eye.  Change unexpectedly can be scary; it may feel like we have no control and cause frustration, anger or depression.

However, here are five ways to cope:

  1. Accept the change that is happening.  The sooner we acknowledge that life has changed, the sooner we can begin to adjust.
  2. Decide your next move.  So this happened what can I do next and what will be my attitude toward moving forward?  These are very critical questions to ask yourself.
  3. Let go of ‘if only I had done things differently’ thinking. It is not productive to get stuck in this self- destructive thinking.
  4. Find support through your friends, relatives and/or spiritual family.
  5. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to transition into a new way of life.

 

 

Waiting for perfection…and waiting and waiting and waiting…

What is it about our society that causes many of us to strive for perfection?  In magazines, we see models with perfect bodies…on television we see perfect families living in perfect homes…on social media we see cute couples posing in selfies to document perfect relationships.  But what we don’t see is the air bushing of the model’s thighs for the magazine ad, the behind the scenes arguments within that perfect family and the problems that cutesy couple on Facebook really experience.

Are you letting the need for perfectionism actually PREVENT you from success?  How could that be you ask?

Ironically, people who lean toward perfectionism sabotageimages his or  her chance for success.   For example, most tend to  be procrastinators; waiting for the right circumstances to best increase his or her chances for accomplishing some task successfully.  Here’s where that irony comes in again…that ideal or  perfect time or space may NEVER occur so he or she automatically fails!  One of the key traits of successful people is not being risk-adverse.

Here are a few trait perfectionists often posses and how they can be adjusted for better results:

  • Highly critical of others: a perfectionist point out the flaws in others largely because they can’t accept in others what they can’t accept in themselves.  However, if a less judgmental attitude where taken by a perfectionist, it would be easier to be less critical of his or herself.
  • Takes everything personally: a  perfectionist takes failure personally; they tend to not be as resilient to a setback and can allow it to beat them down mentally.
  • Tends to get upset about insignificant mistakes: if spilling a latte at the coffee shop causes an emotional meltdown or seeing a typo in an email after hitting send puts you in crises mode, you just might be a perfectionist. If less focus is placed on failure and more focus is placed on the big picture or the end result, the small mistakes won’t seem so big.

So what are you waiting for? Now is the PERFECT time to succeed even if there are some failures along the way.

 

 

 

 

Change

transition…well, they are called  growing pains for a reason.  Yes, change and growth sometimes     hurt and it’s  why we are so resistant to it.  But the ironic thing about change is we fear it just as much as we desire it ( for example take note of the ‘changes’  we desire on January 1st every year)!

However, change is inevitable and if we fight against it,  we can sabotage any chance to achieve success and abundance in life.  Sound a little dramatic?  Well, change certainly can be dramatic and is a significant part of life.   Regardless of if we are a willing participant or not, change is gonna come!

Here are 3 ways to help embrace change:

  1. Acknowledge the  fear and challenge it. If  we admit we are  fearful, it’s  not so bad because we  know it’s there.   We can even use it that fearful energy flowing through us to challenge ourselves to  stretch even further. If you find yourself a fearful divorced woman at  age 50,  now  could be the best time to  sell the house and buy that loft in the city you dreamed of living in ‘one day.’
  2. Be open to possibility.  Don’t get attached to any certain outcome as a result of  change.  Often times the most memorable events in life are the ones we didn’t expect or plan.
  3. Take it easy on yourself.  Sometimes when massive change in life occurs ( such as the loss of a job, relationship or spouse), we can feel as if life is sweeping us up in a whirlwind.  To help absorb the ‘shock’ it is a good idea to take it easy on you.  Get plenty of rest, eat good meals and if cash allows, have someone clean your apartment or home so you can spend  time to regroup.

Change has it’s  benefits especially when you discover new insight on yourself and your perspective on the world around you.

Well, that just happened…

Your coffee spills down the front of your favorite sweater on the drive to meet your client.  As you approach the exit, you realize that stain will never come out AND you’ve gone the wrong way! You fumble around in your bag for your cellphone to apologize to your waiting client when it starts to ring.  It’s your sister who desperately needs you to watch her twins this evening.  Frazzled, you agree and press END CALL, only to see you’ve made another wrong turn.  Uggg!  Although, you left early for the appointment, you are nearly 20 minutes late. You notice a text arrived from your client saying she could no longer wait and would prefer to do business elsewhere. Ouch. Your heart sinks. Have you had one of those days when nothing seems to go right on top of ruining a perfectly cute sweater?!

Sometimes these setbacks can be a major confidence-killer. However, wasting time beating yourself up by replaying the drama in your mind is not productive. By doing so you create a false view of who you really are and your true ability.

Here are three quick ‘pick-me-uppers’ to move on successfully with your day:

  1. Take a deep breath and  accept what just happened.  Doctors have proven that deep breathing releases tension and  clears the mind.  Yes, those folks who practice Yoga ARE really on to something!
  2. Laugh. Even though you want to cry, feel sorry for yourself or throw something. Laughing, will immediately start to change your attitude.
  3. Do something positive for someone else. Okay, so after stumbling over a few issues it may seem difficult, but taking a moment or two to positively focus on someone works…give a sincere compliment to the bank teller with a great haircut…give the broke college student in front of you at the coffee shop the 50 cents he is short to purchase his mocha…hold open the door at the library for the mom struggling to push in her double-wide stroller.

It just takes a little effort to sweep up the big mess of a setback.Bummed

…so, here you are

…we ARE where we are in life because of past choices made. Regardless of the most challenging circumstances, we DO have the power to choose. Regarding your success, make today ‘sink or swim’ day. Either you’re going to learn to be an awesome swimmer or you’ll swallow half the pool of life trying! You CAN do this!images06MEIG0P

The Importance of Being Mentored

Growing up, many of us had someone we looked up to and wanted to emulate.  Maybe it was an older brother or sister, a television character or super hero.  Do you remember the fun you had sneaking into your older sibling’s room to try on their clothes to be ‘cool’ like them, or maybe you loved putting on a mask and cape for Halloween (or any random after-school day) to transform into a super human with unlimited power.  business women

Now that we are adults, we still can tap into and further develop our unlimited power through the experience and mentorship of others.

Internationally recognized and mega successful entrepreneur, Richard Branson of Virgin said in a recent blog, “If you ask any successful businessperson, they will always have had a great mentor at some point along the road. If you want success then it takes hard work, hard work and more hard work. But it also takes a little help along the way. If you are determined and enthusiastic then people will support you.”

…sounds like good advice from someone worth 5 billion dollars according to Forbes Magazine!

Here are three easy ways to find a mentor for those of you on the way to Forbes status:

  1. Identify someone in your field of interest who is actively making a positive impact in that field.  Find out if he or she will be a speaker or attendee at an industry conference and make sure you get there and introduce yourself.
  2. Look around your office at those who are consistently reaching department goals or are being promoted to greater responsibilities.  Often times, these are great people to invite to lunch and inquire about their strategies for succeeding in the company.
  3. Hire a coach or professional mentor.  By investing in your success through reserving time with a coach or professional mentor, you can eliminate years of trial and error by using his or her knowledge and resources.  This is a secret formula for continued success for many top athletes and entertainers as well as entrepreneurs.

As you develop your plan for success, include a mentor to make the journey easier.